I have no idea
by Differently Normal
Summary: Just what I think would happen if the Naruto characters were asked what they thought about certain fanfic pairings.
1. Chapter 1

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I have no idea why I'm writing this.

**Or why I'm planning on putting this on my account.**

**Basically, I'm gonna pick one random Naruto fan-fiction pairing per chapter and then write what I think the members of the pairing would think of it.**

**Feel free to suggest pairings.**

**And yes, these are gonna be kept short.**

**Apart from the bit at the end where I will probably explain why this coupling is so right/wrong/ok/weird/EWWWWWWWWWW**

**I have been informed that script format is against the rules. Obviously, this has really annoyed me, but what's a girl to do? So, I'm re-writing the lot.**

**Underlined= thinking**

**WARNING: Contains random thoughts, rants and whatever else I happen to write.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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_**Chapter 1- NARUHINA!**_

For a few seconds, there is silence, as Naruto tries to digest what he has just been told. Hinata, of course understood what I was telling her nearly instantaneously, but would rather die than be first to talk. Unfortunately, good things like peace and quiet never last, and 5 seconds later Naruto starts yelling.

"What? Me and Hinata? But we don't really talk! She just goes all red and when I check if she's ill, she faints!"

Apparently, hearing her crush speak is too much for poor little Hinata, or perhaps the knowledge that people have not only noticed her adoration for Naruto, but support her in it has properly sunk in. Whatever the reason, she promptly faints.

"AHH! Hinata! Hinata! What did I do? She just fainted, it wasn't me! Hinata?"

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_5 minutes later__…_

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Hinata blinks, and sits up. Briefly wondering why she had decided to go to sleep, she looks up. There, the reason for her unplanned nap is perched, staring anxiously at her. She stares at him.

Naruto, of course, is blissfully unaware of her nervousness, asks "Do you understand why people would think we are a couple Hinata?"

Hinata instantly blushes, and practically faints there and then, but manages to hold herself together long enough to reply in the negative.

"N-no, Naruto-kun…"

Sadly for Hinata, Naruto notices her colour change.

"You've gone all red again! Have you got a fever?" he asks worriedly. Naruto may be thicker than three blocks of flats sometimes, but he makes up for it with a heart of gold. He checks her temperature, causing Hinata to go even redder, and start panicking.

Oh My Kami he's TOUCHING me! Stay calm Hinata, stay calm! IT'S NO USE! And Hinata faints, for the second time that day.

"She did it again!"

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**I love naruhina. SO CUTE! Anyways it makes sense to me ****because all Naruto really wants is love and attention, and who's more suited to giving him that than his No.1 stalker/ fan girl? He can help her with her confidence problems; she can help him with his manners and general obliviousness. Simples!**

**And sorry, but I fail at making non-script things.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, you should know the drill now.**

**Unless of course, someone has been skipping my first chapter for no apparent reason.**

**Then it would be your own fault that you don't know what is going on.**

**And duuuuuuuuuude I did not expect that much positive feedback for chapter 1.**

***sniff* I feel so loved.**

**Anyways, time for chapter 2. This pairing was a request by gaarafangirl191.**

**Here goes.**

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_**Chapter 2-DeiSaku**_

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*silence for a few minutes*

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Deidara: WHAT… THE… HELL…un.

Sakura: *stares* That makes no sense. What part of enemies don't you guys get? He's in AKATSUKI. Plus, we've never had a proper conversation and I'm saving myself for Sasuke-kun, when he comes back to Konoha…

Deidara: She killed Sasori no Danna. Why would I have anything to do with her, un?

Deidara: And she has pink hair. That's just weird, un.

Sakura: Oh yeah? Well at least I can do something productive, like healing people, instead of just BLOWING EVERYTHING UP!

Deidara: Did you just disrespect my art, Pinky? My art is true art, beautiful in it's fleetingness *is interrupted by Sakura*

Sakura: DON'T CALL ME PINKY!!!

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*deteriorates into massive fight*

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**Ok, let's stop that there. Anyway, I think that's a WTF kinda pairing. I guess it could work… no, scratch that, Sakura likes bossing people around and like Hell Deidara is gonna stand for that! Plus, there's the whole killing his partner/killing her teammates close friend thing.**

**Coming up… SasuKarin, requested by Chiara-Kazza.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Same stuff as the previous chapters.**

**Just a recap, thought is underlined.**

**Oh yes, and I'd like to make a heartfelt plea to everybody reading this story: Please please please could I have a flame? I just don't feel like a proper fanfic author until I've had at least 1. Ok, I'm just a bit weird, but nevertheless. If you don't want to flame this story then I have another, much longer one? That one isn't a humour kinda thing though…**

**Oh yeah, where was I?**

**This pairing was requested by Chiara-Kazza**_**Chapter 3- SasuKarin**_

Karin: *squeals* This is the best pairing ever and it is completely true and Me and Sasuke-kun are going to get married!

Sasuke: Hn. No.

Karin: He's just shy about it. I'm so glad people have finally realized how perfect we are for each other! *squeals again* And that Forehead girl doesn't stand a chance! Me and Sasuke are gonna have little mini Sasukes and we'll live in a big house, and nobody else will be allowed anywhere near, cause we'll be so in love that we won't want to see anybody besides each other.

Sasuke: *growls* Like hell that's gonna happen.

Karin: *ignores everything else as she rambles on and on and on*

Sasuke: Just think of killing Itachi, that's right. Ignore the crazy fangirl!

Karin: *still rambling*

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**I think you've got the gist.**

**SasuKarin is about as likely as SasuSaku. Same kinda girl, although Sakura is generally considered to be more likeable. I have no particular preference between the two, I'm more of a SasuFemNaru girl.**

**Next time… the one you might not have been waiting for, but I certainly have… SasuNaru! Suggested by AspergianStoryteller.**

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	4. Chapter 4

**I'm spoiling you guys- 4 chapters in 1 day!**

**Still, I was a little disappointed with the lack of reviews for the last two chapters- were they not as good as the first? And still no flames!**

**I'd like to thank my reviewers so far: **

**Golden Obs****curity, my first ever reviewer,**

**gaarafangirl91, my most faithful and frequent reviewer****,**

**Chiara-Kazza for the pairing for chapter 3****,**

**AspergianStoryteller for the ideas for KakaIru and SasuNaru chapters,**

**Kisa Kisa Yum Yum for being very supportive of the first chapter and sharing their insights into NaruHina**

**And that's it. You guys are awesome!**

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**This is a pairing requested by AspergianStoryteller.**

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_**Chapter 4- SasuNaru!**_

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Naruto: WHAT? Why would they even THINK that? ARGH! BRAIN SOAP!!! I love Sakura-chan, not Sasuke-teme! *runs around in circles yelling*

Sasuke: *chokes* No. Way. *Looks over at Naruto* Dobe, sit down and shut up. You're giving me a headache.

Naruto: But Sasuke! They paired me with you! ME! With YOU! How are you not flipping out about this? ARGH!!!!!!! *stops running in circles and starts pulling out hair*

Sasuke: Dobe. Stop. NOW.

Naruto: Stop calling me a dobe! You teme!

Sasuke: I'll stop calling you a dobe when you stop BEING a dobe.

Naruto: SASUKE-YAROU! See? This is why we don't make a good couple! He's a complete teme! And I like girls!

Sasuke: That usuratonkachi is annoying and I wouldn't go out with him if my life depended on it.

Naruto: WHY YOU! I'm gonna KILL YOU!

*starts epic battle*

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**I think you get the point.**

**I hope I've done a good enough job there. And no, I'm not telling you who won the epic battle.**

**I think I might do a SasuFemNaru chapter later on, it might be slightly different. Actually, it might not be, but I'd probably jump at the opportunity for fluffiness :)**

**Next time… KakaIru!**

**NinjaVampirate, signing out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I have been neglecting you all. Oh well, I'm sure you'll live without regular updates.**

**Anyways, I don't own Naruto.**

**I probably don't even own this idea, not sure about that one.**

**This chapter was brought to you by my internet screwing up and me having nothing better to do.**

**This chapter is dedicated to ****Aspergian Storyteller, for requesting this pairing.**

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**_KakaIru_**

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Kakashi: *Blinks, then shrugs and goes back to his book*

Iruka: *Stares* WHAT? There is absolutely no foundation to that! The only time we've ever said anything to each other was when Kakashi nominated his team for the Chuunin Exams and I protested. How is that a good foundation for any relationship? *mutters*

Kakashi: *Looks up from book* You know, he has a point.

Iruka: I just hope my students don't hear about this. I'd never hear the end of it!

Kakashi: *Reading book* *Giggles pervertedly* *Nosebleed (although we can't see it because of the mask)*

Iruka: Yet more reasons why we wouldn't make a good couple! I'm a TEACHER, he reads PORN. In front of his students, no less! *turns to Kakashi* Put that thing away! Children might see you! You're tainting impressionable minds!

Kakashi: *raises eyebrow, but otherwise ignores Iruka*

Iruka: *fumes*

Kakashi: Calm down, if they don't realize that I'm perfectly straight from my choice of reading material, they won't change their minds because you sulked.

Iruka: *sulks anyway*

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**And it's over! Yaaaaaaay!!! Kami, that was hard to write. I don't ever write from either Iruka's or Kakashi's POV normally.**

**I think this is a weird pairing, I mean they seriously don't ever really talk. Well, at least as far as I've got, which admittedly isn't far.**

**Guys, if you want more of these chapters, I'm gonna need some help. I need to know where I can find a website to watch all of the Naruto Shippuden, cause the one I use at the moment isn't up to date. Anyone who helps me out will get their own one-shot, any pairing they like. It can be serious or funny, although I'm better at funny.**

**Next up is… HidaKaku, or KakuHida, whatever.**


	6. AN

Just so you all know, I'm abandoning all of my stories. They're all up for adoption; contact me if you want them. I'll post a follow-up note later telling you all who adopted what.

As for my reasons for abandoning my stories, well, I have been battling with some quite severe depression for some time now, and no longer feel as if I can devote my attention to these stories. My heart isn't in it anymore, and if my heart isn't in it then the quality just won't be as good. I'm sorry.

I may try to rewrite some of these later when my condition improves, but for now, I am leaving all of these stories for whoever wants them.


End file.
